In typical Apple form, on launch day everyone goes crazy and stands in line for a phone with "innovative" technologies from two years ago. Immediately after the climactic event, the Kool-Aid wears off and everyone realizes the problems that exist with the product. However the good news is that Apple and their fans will claim that the problem is with you, like in the instance of you holding the iPhone 4 in the most incorrect way possible: normally. Plus, we can't forget earlier this year when the new iPads were getting so hot that they could cook your eggs. Apple didn't officially respond to that one but I will go ahead and attempt a response I feel will suit the problem.
We have heard reports of the new iPad burning the skin on users' thighs. Because the temperature is hot enough to cook eggs, we suggest instead of using it on or near your body, to instead replace your conventional stove with the new iPad and cook your entire breakfast on its metallic back. Apple ensures that all of our products maintain the highest standards in quality, technology and stainless steel culinary surfaces.
So, now that we're all caught up on how the process works, let's bring the latest product into the picture, the iPhone 5. The latest Apple gadget came out this week and the masses flocked to the company for their next fix. The same applies to the iPhone 5 as described in the scenario above, so of course there is a problem with this iPhone as well. However it is not antenna issues or overheating. Instead, our good friends over at Foxconn have saved Apple consumers everywhere of having to use the device and put their own dings and scratches on it. Included in the $600 price tag this year is what I am calling "pre-established technology wear and tear." You heard right, users all over the world have reported that their iPhone 5 box looks like it was "dropped from 10 feet and dented" and that their kind-of-smartphone already has minor scratches, dents and dings on it.
For more on this new craze of having manufacturers mess up your phone so you don't have to and what Apple users are saying about it, click the break.