The UpStream

Tickle the Penguin!

posted Wednesday Apr 20, 2011 by Nicholas DiMeo

Tickle the Penguin!

My love for animals, mostly penguins, sparked my desire to post this video. Cincinnati's Zoo is home to a little penguin named Cookie who is the mascot for the Zoo Bird House there. This video was shot after days of trying to get Cookie to go over to the trainer to let the trainer tickle the little bird.

Ever wondered what a penguin's laughter sounds like? Click after the break to hear it!

Spidy Powers As Nature Intended

posted Wednesday Apr 20, 2011 by Jon Wurm

Spidy Powers As Nature Intended

That's right. This is not a joke. You can attain powers from spider bites in real life just like Peter Parker did in the Spider-Man comic book series and movies. Well, they aren't exactly the same powers that Peter Parker had so don't expect to be getting a birds eye view of New York City or French kissing hot girls while hanging upside down from your own silk rope. You will, however, gain a power in your pants that Parker might gladly trade all his other awesome powers for. Let's face it. Spider-Man is a hero on the streets but maybe not in the bedroom. Here's how you can be.

Go out and find yourself a Brazilian wandering spider, also known as the banana spider or Phoneutria nigriventer. Next, have it bite you and let its potent venom work its happy pants magic. The wandering spider's venom actually contains toxins that have a variety of effects such as 4 hour erections which puts a whole new spin on "all natural male enhancement." According to Dr. Kenia Nunes, a physiologist at the Medical College of Georgia,

The venom of the P. nigriventer spider is a very rich mixture of several molecules. These molecules are called toxins, and then we have various toxins in this venom with different activity. Because of this, when a human is bitten by this spider, we can observe many different symptoms including priapism, a condition in which the penis is continually erect.

I feel I must insert this caveat before scores of "excited" men start filling aquariums with these things. The other effects of the bite are actually quite painful and result in difficulty breathing as well as lost muscle control. Odds are she probably wouldn't notice any of these symptoms anyway. I'm not advocating you should try this, I'm just saying.

As you might have guessed, Dr. Kenia Nunes is hard at work formulating a pill to encapsulate the true nature of male enhancement. They have already enjoyed success with rats and are looking forward to the real thing. Eat your heart our Viagra.

The FBI is LFG to Ninja Loot WOW Players' Stuff

posted Sunday Apr 17, 2011 by Jon Wurm

The FBI is LFG to Ninja Loot WOW Players' Stuff

I played WOW for a long time before Activision Blizzard decided to ruin the game by destroying the line that distinguished actual good players from recreational players. Also, my account was banned for "manipulating the economy," but that's not near as bad as getting raided by the FBI in real life. That this happened is indeed even more surprising than the fact that people still play WOW and yet another reason not to play.

A few very unlucky University of Michigan students were raided by the FBI on March 30th due to suspicion of being involved in, "potentially fraudulent sales or purchases of virtual currency that people use to advance in the popular online role-playing game World of Warcraft." No one was arrested because the FBI really had no basis to do so but they did ninja loot their laptops, video game consoles, hard drives, credit cards and cell phones which would be quite upsetting. The FBI is also searching credit card statements and bank records for transactions involving the sale or purchase of virtual currency in an effort to validate their real life raid.

No arrests have been made as of yet and the students have not been charged with a crime either. One of them went on the record with AnnArbor.com saying,

They thought we were involved in some kind of fraud... I'm pretty sure they have the wrong people, but they took all my stuff.

I wish them luck in getting their stuff back. If petitioning the FBI for your things is anything like petitioning a GM after losing stuff in a server transfer then save yourself some time. Take out some more student loans then go buy some new computers and gold. Next, pay off a raid party to get your tier gear back; at least that way everybody wins.

PlayStation Move Rides Success Tsunami With Over 8 Million Units Sold

posted Sunday Apr 17, 2011 by Jon Wurm

PlayStation Move Rides Success Tsunami With Over 8 Million Units Sold

In my continuing effort to seem impartial about next generation game consoles, I feel compelled to congratulate Sony on their monumental achievement of surpassing the 8 million unit mark in sales for the PlayStation Move. I would also like to congratulate them on selling more units worldwide than the Xbox 360 in almost every country except the U.S. The PS3 has over 50 million units worldwide now and it seems that hardcore and casual gamers alike are catching on to the entire Move environment which originally consisted of the navigation controller and camera. The addition of the Move Sharpshooter peripheral enjoyed a 40% attach rate to Killzone 3 at GameStop regardless of a limited supply courtesy of the recent tsunami over in Japan. Senior vice president of merchandising, Bob McKenzie has high hopes about Moving into the future,

Due to the demand for the PlayStation Move motion controller, we've been struggling to keep units in stock in our U.S. GameStop stores. With big franchise titles set for release throughout the year for the PlayStation Move, we expect the remainder of 2011 to be a period of continued sales growth for PlayStation Move.

Get a move on reading about PlayStation Move by hitting the break.

China Outlaws Time Travel

posted Sunday Apr 17, 2011 by Scott Ertz

China Outlaws Time Travel

That's right, children. If you would like to travel to a time when advanced technology was an outhouse, China will not be the place to launch your adventure. That is, if your adventure involves TV, radio or film. China's State Administration for Radio, Film & Television has banned the production of anything interesting that involves the concept of time travel.

You would think it has something to do with not encouraging their people to actually build time traveling technology and go back in time to prevent the communist party from taking over, but you would be sorely mistaken. It has everything to do with disrespecting the past and portraying it in ways that never happened. I assume this also means they will be banning the book, Those Mysterious Dinosaurs.

We've got a quote from the SARFT, so hit the break to see how they are justifying this decision.

Netflix is Supported with Kinect, Xbox's Success is Supported with Numbers

posted Sunday Apr 17, 2011 by Nicholas DiMeo

Netflix is Supported with Kinect, Xbox's Success is Supported with Numbers

Wondered what that little update was that you received right before the weekend? It was Microsoft's little way of saying, "We still have the Kinect and it still does awesome things!" The update was released on the 14th which gave our beloved Netflix Kinect compatibility. Now with just the wave of your hand or the sound of your voice, you can make Netflix do jumps and flips and stuff, or, at least play your favorite movie or TV show.

From Major Nelson,

You'll be able to select movies and TV shows recommended for you by Netflix, as well as play, pause, fast forward and rewind using gesture or voice. Kinect support for Netflix on Xbox LIVE will also feature an exclusive new recommendation channel that is controller-free and uses a smart engine to suggest movies or TV shows based on your viewing habits and instant queue.

Very cool stuff and I can already say I've tried it out and it works like a champ! The ability to eliminate my remote and my controller (which turns off after 15 minutes of inactivity) was great as I was able to play and pause a movie with just my voice.

More proof that not only Netflix, but Xbox as well, are both seeing success. So much, in fact, that Microsoft is bragging big about how well they're doing. We have the NPD numbers after the break.

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